Let’s say that you think you’re funny. As far as you’re concerned, a sense of humor is one of your core strengths.
There’s just one problem: Nobody else thinks you’re funny.
This is indeed a problem, because humor is a two-sided exchange. It’s a feedback loop between you (the joke teller) and your listener (the joke tellee). Humor doesn’t happen in a vacuum.
It’s not enough to only consider how you see yourself. You must also consider how the world sees you.
So if nobody else thinks you’re funny… well, you’re probably not funny.
Yet all is not lost. Let’s say that you do want to become funnier. Maybe not comedian funny, but witty enough to get a laugh during a speech or a first date, and you’re willing to make an effort to learn.
You’d probably start testing out your jokes with others, seeing what works and what doesn’t. You’d observe how others react to your communication, and tweak accordingly.
In doing so, you’d start to learn how others see you.
If you took a class in comedy, you might also pick up a few best practices. With a few relatively minor tweaks, you’d start to generate the desired response of laughter. As you improved, you’d begin to understand how to apply your own unique style. For instance if your style of humor includes exaggerated facial expressions like Jim Carrey or Robin Williams, you’d probably figure out opportunities to use your signature expressions to improve your response. On the other hand, if your sense of humor is dry and ironic, like Tina Fey or Daniel Tosh, you might become MORE ironic in a way that others interpreted as funny.
The more data points you could learn about how others see us, the more you could improve how your communication is heard— and how the world sees you.
That’s exactly what this book is about.
You're about to see yourself in a new way. You might never see yourself quite the same again.
You already know how you see yourself.
That much is pretty well-established territory.
And you already know how you see the world.
If you’ve ever done a personality test like Myers-Briggs or StrengthsFinder, you’re pretty clear on your own point of view, and how you see yourself. Until this point, that was enough.
But if you only look at those first two elements, you’d be missing a crucial missing piece of the story. And that missing piece is this…
How does the world see you?
You might never have considered this question before. It might feel unfamiliar. It might make you feel awkward or self-conscious, like you’re staring at your reflection in the mirror too long. Yet if you ignore this perspective, you’re missing a big piece of information about how you’re actually communicating. If you want to be heard and remembered, if you want people to take action on your ideas and opinions, then you need to get the full picture.
Effective messages build a cause-and-effect cycle that creates action. Each time you communicate, you will either be heard, or you will be ignored.
As the world gets busier and more competitive, it’s no longer enough to only know how you see the world. You must also know how the world sees you.
You don’t need to change who you are. But you do need to either embrace or change who other people think you are.
How? Find out here.